Thursday, October 11, 2012

Update & Getting Personal

As I eluded to on Monday, there has been something on my mind for awhile that I want to share with you.  Due to the personal nature and transparency of the post, I kept mulling it over in my mind and hadn't yet had the courage to hit "publish."  

 But then today Mackenzie of Design Darling wrote this post about self-employment and supporting one another and it really struck a chord within me.  I knew it was time to open up.

I'm sure it isn't news to anyone that girls can be mean.  Whether the meanness stems from insecurity, jealousy, or just plain hostility it can damage friendships and ruin opportunities for others.  Gender studies show that women are much more viscous with one another than men. I am not immune to meanness.  In fact, I have moments that I would love to forget where I hurt someone else, either out of jealousy or my own insecurity. 

 Somehow, becoming a part of blogging has changed me for the better and I've learned that others' successes do not diminish my own.  In fact, seeing the women I blog alongside thrive in their chosen field is incredibly empowering for me.  

That's how I found the courage to leave my former career path- I watched bloggers just like me leave a job they were unhappy with to start something new.  As most of you know, I left a stable, lucrative career in the oil and gas industry to pursue interior design.  It wasn't a decision I made lightly.  I was deeply unhappy in my job and was sinking in to a depression slowly but surely.  I knew that I had to change something or my health (mental and physical) would suffer.

I networked and learned of a local interior design firm needing help, and I was hired this past April as a design assistant.  Meanwhile, the blog that had been my lifeline during those dark days remained my other big passion and I was pouring so much of my heart in to it.  Around the same time I started my job, I also decided to pursue a degree in interior design at the Art Institute of Houston at night.  You do the math- job+school+blog+ all of life's other commitments meant I was spread very, very thin.  Nonetheless, I was finding a way to make it all work {largely due to incredibly supportive and understanding family, friends, and boyfriend}.

I was learning so much at my job-  about the interior design industry, but also about balance.  The amount of work we juggled would have stressed anyone out, and it certainly took a toll on the 2 designers. Two weeks ago, I left that job.

 There were many reasons why I left which I would rather not get in to, but let's surmise it to say that they were not accepting of my blog and my dedication to it as local recognition grew.

Long story short, it wasn't a good fit for me long-term.

Although I believe all things work together for good, leaving the job was difficult for me.  
 I made the decision to go to school full-time and begin taking on interior design projects on my own when time permits.  I am so incredibly thankful and blessed to have people who believe in me and support me.  I am currently working on a few projects where I am getting to oversee the entire design process, and I can't put in to words how edifying that is for me.   I am learning that some things don't work out because better things are in store, and you just have to trust the process.

Following your dreams is not easy.  Acquaintances have commented on my career change and how glamorous interior design sounds, and I just want to laugh.  I am working my ass off to make this work and it isn't easy.   I am placing all bets on myself, taking a risk every day and I don't really have any other option than to be courageous.  I don't say this to gain sympathy or to glorify my efforts, but to just be transparent with you that behind the scenes this isn't easy.  

But it's worth it. 

Every bone in my body believes it and that's why I wake up in the morning and keep working at it.  I am most grateful to every single person who has lent their support and encouragement to me and followed along with me over the past year.  It means more to me than you know.  I am in a very good place and finally feel that I'm exactly where I should be.

In conclusion, I'd like to say that I hope women as a whole can learn to be kind and supportive of one another, even when things aren't going the way we'd like.  
 In my 2.5 years in the professional world,  I've seen nastiness and sabotaging occur between women rather often, and it leaves me brokenhearted.  As Mackenzie said, 

"Let's applaud one another's choices, support them if we like, and keep it to ourselves if we don't. Madeleine Albright said, 'There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women.' I think we can all agree the world is a better place when we do."

51 comments:

  1. I think it's phenomenal that you're pursuing your passion and finally feeling that you're precisely where you're meant to be. The fact that blogging has helped both of us get to that place is a pretty remarkable thing! Kudos to you for being brave and wandering off the beaten path. You go girl! xx

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  2. Oh Sam, I wish I could give you a big hug, but then I'd probably start bawling because you have no idea. I am smack dab in the middle of the transition you are describing. While I've been in digital media for a while now, I only got the guts to launch out on my own, and officially start my own business a couple of months ago. As my business has grown, and as I've gained more success, I've experienced a range of responses from those that I hoped would be more supportive.

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  3. Well said, and glad you did. There is no harm being NICE, and it is the cheapest most rewarding thing you can do for others, and be rewarded yourself. I think you are wise to not be around people that don't support you. You are well loved in this community, and I wish you the best in finding something that fulfills you. Im always your fan!
    xo Nancy
    Powellbrowerhome.com

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  4. Oh Sam, I wish I could give you a big hug, but then I'd probably start bawling because you have no idea. I am smack dab in the middle of the transition you are describing. While I've been in digital media for a while now, I only got the guts to launch out on my own, and officially start my own business a couple of months ago. As my business has grown, and as I've gained more success, I've experienced a range of responses from those that I hoped would be more supportive. Anyhoo, just wanted to say that I totally know where you're coming from, and I completely support you. :) And if we ever meet in real life, I'll raise a glass of bubbles to you and your success for sure! (Sorry for the double comment!)

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  5. I loved Mackenzie's post today and I love yours! I can't believe how tough and competitive people can be. Comparison is tough. Judgment is harsh. But kindness goes a long way. I can only imagine how hard you've worked to change your career path. I still envy you though -- I continue to hold on to my corporate job (half-time), because I'm too chicken to take the plunge (just yet!) Best of luck!!
    ♡ Lexi @ Glitter, Inc.

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  6. So true thanks for sharing, such a great example to set for all women no matter their role!

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  7. Love this! Congratulations on pursuing your dream and not allowing anyone else's negativity have an influence on you and your career path. You are right, women as a whole can be pretty nasty, so happy you have acknowledged this and have moved forward. Again, congrats and best of luck!
    -Morgan

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  8. A truly inspirational post. I have so much admiration for you Sam, and so happy to have met you through blogging. It's too bad that the firm you were with could not accept your blog, but I think it's for the best, it sounds like you were being pulled in too many directions all at once. As I embark on my own interior design journey, I know the hard work that awaits. SO happy to have you as a role model. xox

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  9. Go you and I just got even more excited for our lunch date next week!

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  10. So very inspirational! Many women don't have the courage to pursue their dreams. You should be very proud of yourself as you've already taken the hardest and most important step. Good luck to you!

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  11. I love you Sam! This was such an eloquent and truthful post. Why are women so mean? It baffles me. Your courageousness and commitment to yourself are what shines through, not a unreal glamorous life. Although, if you figure out how to have an assistant bring you Starbucks everyday while looking over fabric samples let me know! I want in! Best of luck in your pursuits Sam! Xoxox

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  12. You are so inspiring and although I always read your blog, I never comment but felt that I absolutely had to on this post! Three words. YOU GO GIRL! I for one, would like to apologize for ever being mean to you in MS or HS as a result of my own insecurities/need to be a terrible bitch and have been meaning to do so for sometime. What better time than now? I'm sure it's come back to bite me in the ass many times over. :) Rolling with life's punches truly does get you to the right place and makes it all worth it in the end. Keep on keepin' on because you are
    wonderful as a blogger/designer/woman!

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  13. I've very proud of you for taking the leap and going into a field that is totally different than what you went to school for originally. I, personally, know how hard the design world is so I can't stand when people scoff and try to make you feel like you're doing something "silly" for your career path. Congrats, Sam - you're going to do great things! Maybe once I graduate next year, I can move back to Houston and we can open our own design firm ;)

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  14. What an incredibly inspirational post! I am proud of you, and the risks that you have taken. You are such a wonderful example for others! Keep up the hard work, and don't let other people's insecurities get you down!
    xo
    Isn’t That Charming.

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  15. thanks so much for sharing, sam. i firmly believe that nothing worth pursuing comes easily.. stay true to who you are and your passions and it will work out! i can't wait to see how successful you become :)

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  16. You are doing such an amazing job with your blog and have grown it so fast in such a competitive area in such a short period of time that I have no doubt you will succeed on your own. I have absolutely no doubt on your abilities. You are destined for bigger and better things!!

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  17. Congrats to you! Do what makes you happy, life is too short not to!

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  18. YOU GO GUUUUUURL!

    So so so so so proud of you. Honey I know a lllllllll abouts co-worker cattiness. Myself being a true girl's girl could never understand the nastiness of some of my former female co-workers. I am going to take this as a lesson and make an effort to support the younger gals that I am now in a position on being a mentor to. Thanks for reminding me that now it's "my turn".

    So proud of you!

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  19. Love that you wrote this and thank you for being so honest. I commend you. I have been in a very similar predicament for quite some time now and have been going through and dealing with a lot. Especially with blogging. Been pushed around a lot by people lately, taken advantage of, and felt worthless and don't know if it's worth it anymore. But trying to stay strong and "keep the good fight", and relying on the Lord to guide me and lead me in the right direction. Praying He does the same for you<3 xox

    P.S. been wanting to write a very similar post to this, and you may have just given me the push to do it. Thank you <3

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  20. Ohhh hunny bunny. You know I stand behind you 200%. You have what it takes to succeed and you will. Trust me. You are so courageous and I am so proud of you. We must push out the jealous, narcissistic, self centered and unhelpful people in our lives. They are nothing but toxic. I love you dearly and have been honored to stand by your side over the past weeks!!xoxo

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  21. It takes a lot of guts to pursue happiness. Its easy to talk about making changes, but actually doing it and taking the risk is so commendable. Good for you. Keep it up!
    -Becky

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  22. I just did the same thing, it's funny our situations were very similar. You have to be happy, bottom line! Congrats on making this decision:)

    Xo
    Alison

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  23. Amen! One of the things that makes you beyond darling is your graciousness and sincerity. And, you are right. Girls can be mean. Ignore, ignore, ignore. It boils down to one thing. Insecurity. Only surround yourself with those that are supportive. You have so much talent, just follow your heart and you will find success in whatever you do!

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  24. Stay true to yourself Sam. It's really unfortunate that you are dealing with this right now, but it sounds like you have it in the right perspective. I believe that things happen for a reason and that regardless of why things worked out the way they did, the fact that it happened put you on the path to something better- be it working with another design firm or on your own. It doesn't diminish the cattiness you experienced, but unfortunately we're all bound to encounter that here and there. Just keep doing what you're doing and remember why you started on this journey to begin with. Better things await.

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  25. Awesome post! Thanks for sharing this with us. I've had a situation similar to that before where the other person was very negative towards me at times and when I explained what I was feeling to her she got mad even more. Rediculous...not worth the energy it takes to be around people like that. I hope all of your dreams come true! XOXO

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  26. i love that you are so honest. & what you did was not easy at all. not everyone could have left a stable job like you did & begin a path into the unknown! but on another note you do not deserve to be treated that way & i know the feeling. you really have to have healthy people in your life to lift you up & stick with you & your dreams & not be jealous. that is hard to find unfortunately! but just want you know that i am thinking about you sweet girl! <3

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  27. Sorry for your women and work troubles. I hear you and understand! I'm in my almost mid-30s now (time flies!) ... and I've seen my share of that and have left many jobs. I've found that jobs / people in general are not easy to work with, and it's hard to find the right fit for you. Keep pursuing your dreams and passions - that is what is most important (when it comes to career)!

    -Tara

    http://madmaxandfamily.blogspot.com
    http://blog.chron.com/madabouttown/

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  28. Congrats to you for following your dreams and also for hitting "publish" on this post. It is a great reminder for me to keep plugging away and to keep the mean girls out of my life. I am excited for you and hope you keep enjoying your crazy/busy path!

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  29. Loved your post. I am actually quitting what I have been doing to start my long life dream. Would love to see your progress :)
    Nina, http://thefrenchseries.blogspot.fr/

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  30. Congrats on your decision and good luck to you! Thank you for posting, I hope to one day grow a set and leave my corporate job, and stories like yours are inspiring!

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  31. Sam, I loved reading this post! You are such a great writer (first and foremost). And I am so glad you made this leap of faith because you are bound to be successful in your new journey. I am so glad things are working out well for you so far, and wish you the best! I don't think I could ever work as hard as you do, so props to you girl. If you work hard for something, you will get there, and I know you will :)
    Congrats on all the success so far!

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  32. I hear ya! Even though I don't know many of you personally, or have a relationship so to speak... I am so proud of you and what you do! You ladies provide me with the inspiration to keep going and trying to achieve my dreams, and to have my dream job some day. You give me hope that there is something better than sitting behind a desk all day! Thank you so much to you lovely creative ladies for doing what you do! Let's all just have fun and be friends. That is what this is about! :)

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  33. Great post! Sad to hear adult women can't be kind and support to each other, sorry to hear you've had to deal with this. I think it's so wonderful you are following your dreams and making the life you want happen, you should be very proud of yourself! I feel things in life happen for a reason and new doors will open! All the best in your journey!

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  34. I think the decision to pursue your happiness is surprisingly a very difficult one for many and takes courage especially in this difficult economy. For that you should be incredibly proud of yourself! In addition, talent plays a role, but hard work cannot be undervalued and you have both in spades. Wishing you all the best with your path and future endeavors! xo

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  35. Sam, this is such a wonderful post. I'm at a point where I'm trying to figure out where to go and what to do in terms of a career. Part of me feels like I need to create something for myself and part of me feels like I just need to apply to a bunch of jobs. Knowing what the right path is (if there is a "right" path) is so hard. You are such an inspiration to me. Every time I think about this, I think about you and what you've been brave enough to do and what you're accomplishing along the way. I love seeing your journey, sincerely appreciate your honesty and transparency, and hope you know how inspiring and helpful posts like this are to others.

    I'm so happy to hear about these exciting opportunities that are coming your way. Keep at it, girl. You're going to do amazing things!

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  36. Thanks for opening up to us, Sam. I'm so proud of you and what you've done so far. I'm 100% sure there's tons of great things ahead for you!

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  37. I wish you all the success in the world to overshadow any doubt and negativity from others. I hope you realize you are above them, in many ways and just keeping doing what you need to make yourself happy. It's up to you, and no one can take that power away. All the best.

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  38. I wish you happiness and success. I'm sure you are right when you say 'some things don't work out because better things are in store' and I love that last quote - so true.
    http://missbbobochic.blogspot.co.uk/

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  39. I just recently found your fabulous blog and must say I commend you for your decision! I too, was in a very lucrative business a few years back and left it all to work for free on a Presidential campaign. It was a hard decision but only led me to find even better things in store for me along the way. I wish you all the best and can't wait to see what unfolds for you in your career endeavors. :)

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  40. It just plain sucks that mean girls don't go away after HS. It almost gets worse the older we get. This is such a great post, and I'm so inspired by you going after your dreams. Making yourself happy and doing what feels right, even though it can be scary, is always a good decision. That last sentence sounded like a Sam Adams beer commercial, ha! But seriously, don't give up, all your hard work will definitely be worth it :)

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  41. This big crazy blog world. It sometimes feels like we are in high school, and it is nice to take a step back and focus on the big picture. We only have one life to live, and only one chance to make that life worth living. So proud of you for following your dreams, being supportive to one another, and striving to make the blog world better. xoxo

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  42. I'm sorry that this seems not to have been a positive experience for you. I hate that people were jealous or not accepting of something you're so passionate about. I'm glad you made the big jump to leave it, and I hope your own interests and passions lead you to something more meant for you soon!

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  43. Sam,
    I am so inspired by this post! I can relate in SO many ways. Thank you for sharing your story and experience - it is so nice to know that you are going through some of the same things I am. I'm so proud of you for making the tough choice to branch out on your own - it was a leap of faith, but clearly so worth it! How amazing that you are working on projects of your own. I know you will be a huge success! XO

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  44. Amen! I am so happy that you are finally exactly where you are meant to be. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I, like you, have a true passion for interior design and have wondered if I should quit my job in finance and pursue it full-time. At this point in my life I do like (not love though) my current job but I can't help but wonder what my life would be like as a designer. Kudos to you - I would love to talk/email about your transition.

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  45. I do not write a blog with a job (I wish I wrote a blog but know I could not juggle it all) but I do work and I do know what it is like to work with women. I agree that women can be "our" worst critics. Thank you for sharing and just wanted to let you know from someone who is not a blogger and just a
    mom/worker/friend that I agree..."Let's applaud one another's choices, support them if we like, and keep it to ourselves if we don't. I admire you for doing what you are doing. It is not worth one second of your life to work in a job that you do not like or feel good about. Life is too short! I believe God has a plan for us and it will all work out. Best of luck!

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  46. I support 100% the decisions you have made Sam! And I so don't understand people who compare and compete against each other. Let everyone be, that's what I believe in ;)

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  47. Here here! I'm sorry the road has been patchy, but you're attitude about it is great. You will rock it! :)

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  48. ...especially no reason to be mean in fields that revolve around enhancing personal enjoyment of life in general a.k.a. blogging, design, etc.

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  49. I believe supporting others (no matter their gender) is crucial to our karma. But I have to say, how others view their job vs their blogs makes me have to bite my tongue sometimes. Some people don't seem to get that when they are working for our company, we'd like them to be working on our company's business and the blog should take a backseat.

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  50. Huge steps, girly! I read the same post that Mackenzie did, and couldn't take it anymore. I wrote my own little spill on women today. I just don't know why we can't be happy and supportive of each other! But congrats to you on step'n out and not being trapped in your comfort zone! Best wishes, love!

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  51. I am excited for you!
    I have encountered a few "mean girls" along the way but way more kind and encouraging ones.
    I am sure that you will too.

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What say you? I'm all ears.

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