Two weeks in to 2017, one more year under my belt (hello, 29), and lots of free time over the holiday really has me thinking about life. My favorite thing about it is it's unpredictability- try as we might to set goals and make plans, often times we cannot even predict where we might end up. I certainly couldn't have imagined I'd still be penning this blog 6 years after it's haphazard launch or residing and working in New York. Living in New York for a bit had always been a desire of mine, but it felt more like a pipe dream than something truly tangible. Moving here on a whim 2 summers ago and starting fresh really sparked something in me that has made me approach life differently since then. I have found in my life that any time I've taken a considerable risk in order to follow something my gut has been telling me to do, the risk has always been worth it. It's also encouraged me to take bigger and bigger risks.
I've been told by lots of people I love that you learn so much in your 20s, but your 30s are really the years where you finally just feel relaxed in who you are. And the 2 things I've clearly felt and noticed as I've gotten older is that I'm more comfortable and happy with myself and I'm generally not as scared anymore. I feel like we put so much pressure on ourselves in our early 20s to have it all figured out. And the older I get, the more I find myself open to the unexpected twists and changes life brings along every so often. One thing I love about meeting new people in New York is that everyone has a crazy, interesting story of how they got to the city and what they are doing with their lives. It's very inspiring, and every story includes a certain degree of risk and unpredictability. I think life often has a sense of humor and likes to keep us on our toes, so it's good to never get too comfortable. I've found that when I let change flow through my life how it needs to, the result is always overwhelming peace.
Which brings me to fear. Having a public blog and working in a creative industry has made me highly sensitive to the thoughts and opinions of others, probably more than I'd like to admit. But at the end of the day- none of that really matters. I've been rearranging furniture since I was in second grade and design really is my first love. Even if this blog didn't exist and I was making a living doing something else, my apartment would still be full of design books and fabric samples. I don't take it for granted for a second that I get to get up every day and do what I love: creating beautiful, intimate spaces for people. It's a very personal and emotional experience, and that's what I love most about it. So I've allowed myself to just let go of that fear of judgement and focus instead on doing what I love. I just finished reading You'll Grow Out of It by Jessi Klein, and one of my favorite quotes from the book is this:
"I saw an interview with Joan Rivers once where she talked about why she felt she was doing her best work at seventy-one years old. 'Because I'm not scared anymore,' she said. 'There's nothing they can do to me. They've already done all of it. I've been through everything and I just have no fear.' I thought about Joan, and thought about my fear of telling my story and having no one care, and then I thought- F**k it. I care. I don't care if they care. It's my story."
So thankful + grateful to get to continue sharing my story , my inspiration, my work, and my life with all of you! Thanks for following along, and cheers to a new year.